Everything Muffins

A few things first before I give you the goods on these muffins.

I had trouble with the title because there are too many key ingredients in this recipe so I settled on EVERYTHING MUFFINS. That basically covers it because I used everything I could put my hands on and threw it in a bowl. My issue is, what happens if I make other muffins in the future and use everything in them too?

I guess I can always call them EVERYTHING MUFFINS – THE SEQUEL.

I believe I have mentioned in the past that I love collecting over ripe bananas. Now it’s gotten past the point of being labelled a “collector”. I know this because I had to clean my freezer out two weeks ago and found a ton of plastic zip bags containing the infamous “dead” bananas.

Last week, I got a call from the producers on TLC, they want me to appear on the new reality show called: BANANA HOARDERS.

To crumble or not to crumble, that is the question. These were supposed to be “healthy” muffins. The operative words are “supposed to be”. Then an idea sprung into my brain and I decided to top these with a crowning of brown sugar and pecans. Notsohealthy now but 100% OHSOGOOD.

So how did these transpire? Once again, it all started with the contents of my fridge and my husband. What did Steve have to do with this? He is always, LIKE ALWAYS moving things around in the fridge. From shelf to shelf and from shelf to the recycling bin. He came across 2 1/2 dead bananas and tried to convince me that they were FINE to slice up into my cereal bowl.

Well.

NO.

There is a stage where this ubiquitous dead fruit keeps showing up and you need to make a decision on it’s future.

Let me explain.

Put your dermatologist hat on and do the following:

1. Examine the skin. Look for mostly yellow skins with a few brown spots. Some browning usually means the bananas are just right.
2. Check the banana for firmness by giving it a gentle press or squeeze. Bad bananas will feel very soft and mushy. Unripened bananas will feel hard with little give. A good banana feels soft but not mushy.
3. Over ripened bananas that you don’t want to eat can be peeled and frozen for use in frozen drinks or baking. *(This is considered the MONEY banana – black on the outside, soft and sweet on the inside, a perfect combo for baking)*

Now then.

I had 2 1/2 deceased bananas in the fridge. The issue was the quantity. My banana bread recipe calls for exactly 3 bananas. But is it 3 small bananas? Medium sized ? Or large?

I made an executive (NOT A CHEF BY ANY MEANS) decision and justified the 2 1/2 large bananas to be the equivalent to 3 small ones. Right? Right.

And now we bake. Blueberries in the heart of winter are not local, but for some reason the market had them on special this week so I bought a stupid amount of containers thinking that that I would use them for something.

Here comes Steve, the fridge inspector AGAIN.

“Are you going to use these blueberries before they go FURRY”? He asked.

“Why of course Steve, of course”, I answered (and in my mind, I thought I better come up with something really quick before they do start to resemble chia pets).

Behold, the magical dead banana muffin. Chock full of healthy goodness, but not really good for you unless you omit and substitute some of the ingredients.

If you are sticking to a healthy version, take out the melted butter and sub in applesauce or coconut oil and most definitely ditch the crumble topping (but just so you know, you’ll regret it, just sayin’).

Hmmm….I’m the worst. First I tempt you and then I tell you not to make them the way they should be made.

I have an idea. You can start your diet next Monday.